Getting Lost in Preparation

By: Anita Vincent

The countdown to atrium often has me focused on the environment, refreshing materials, studying album pages, and securing volunteers. This is a time of intensive work, so intensive that it can serve as a convenient escape. I get so caught up in all these preparations that I tend to neglect the necessary preparation of my inner being. I reflexively ignore this harder work of examining my practices of humility, patience, graciousness, and prayer.

When Montessori said that one of the requirements of being an adult working with children was the ‘spiritual preparation’ of the adult, she meant that the adult needs more than intellectual preparation to be fully present with the child. The adult needs more than a love of children to fully accept them for who they are in their unique trajectory of development. She recognized the enormity of the task and how much it asks of us. The adult must practice awareness – of self, of the child, and of the environment. The preparation of the adult requires us to look inwards in self-reflection.

In The Secret of Childhood, Dr. Montessori says, “…he should examine himself, and purge himself of his sins of tyranny, he must tear down that ancient complex of pride and anger that unconsciously encrusts his heart; strip himself of pride and anger and become humble; this first of all; then clothe himself in charity. These are the spiritual qualities he has to acquire. This is the central point of balance without which it is impossible to proceed. This is his ‘training’, its starting point, and its goal.”

So in humility I confess, I’m entering late yet again into my spiritual preparation.

I’m pondering two inward and one outward questions:

• How do I prepare to see the child as a being with dignity, unique and endowed by our Creator with a superior intellectual and emotional capacity?
• How do I prepare to be a model of self-regulation?
• How do I fill my cup so that I can give of myself to the child?

Back I went to Dr. Montessori to set my feet further in the right direction. Dr. Montessori quotes two particular Scripture verses to help us understand how to prepare ourselves. The first is:

Matthew 7:5: Remove the plank from your own eye, and then perhaps you will be able to see clearly how to help your brother flush out his sawdust.

How do we strip away pride and anger and clothe ourselves in charity?

1. Set aside time to practice self-awareness and mindfulness each day for the remainder of the month (and maybe beyond)
   • Introspective writing can give shape to our impalpable thoughts and feelings. That allows us to look at these thoughts and feelings a little differently, it allows for the beginning of a transformation.
   • A conversation with our inner selves, where we encounter our less-than-the-best moments with an abundance of grace and compassion. Creating a kinship with each facet of ourselves can be difficult, but it is vital to becoming the best person we can be, wherever we are.
2. Create community where you can have conversations with others to help you see the rough spots and have support as you work to become more like the nature of God.
   • Spiritual direction supports our upward call through prayer and accountability (This can be through a trained professional or even through a small focused friend group.)
   • Therapy supports releasing unhealthy practices and views. (This needs a trained professional.)

Again, I recommit to practice a robust self-examination in the evenings by asking God to show me my innermost self and allowing my family and core community to name and support the inner work of refinement.

• How do I fill my cup so that I can give of myself to the child?

Matthew 20:26:This is the Kingdom’s logic: whoever wants to become great must first make himself a servant.

Again, I recommit to practice to carve out time early in the mornings to ponder the beauty of God’s creation, the exquisite guilelessness of the child, and my place in the midst of these two gifts.

I begin my time in the atrium with a clear goal: Am I a ‘vitally responsive’ catechist?

Will you join with me?