CARA Project: Lament Prayers
Researcher:
Jodi-beth McCain, October 2025
Full Title:
Prayers of Lament: Responses of 9-12 year-old Children to the Invitation to Lament
Thesis:
For 9-12 year-old children, prayers of lament offer a way to express their full emotions with God, to announce that the God of Love stands with us always, and to respond to injustice and sadness by joining with God in the work of creating Shalom.
Introduction:
In the lectionary, few Psalms of lament or readings from Lamentations are included, but these prayers hold comfort, healing and hope for the 9 to 12 year-old child. In this study we document how 9-12 year-old children respond to the invitation to pray with lament and how these prayers are gift to them.
A classroom of 4th-6th grade children (9-12 years) from a Washington, DC school were invited into praying with lament over a three year period, choosing to lament as a response to the COVID pandemic, the death of a close family member of a classmate, a report on the Holocaust, news of war and violence, the deaths of friends of a classmate in a plane crash, and as a Lenten practice. In the past year, children from CA, SC and NY were also introduced to these prayers. Children in all four locations were participating in programs of the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd.
Gradually while praying lament with the chldren, presentations and a material for Prayers of Lament material were developed incorporating verses from Psalms, quotes about lament, and structures of lament based on Psalms and Lamentations.
For most of the 4th-6th graders, prayers of lament offer a way to express all of their emotions with God, to announce that the God of Love stands with us always, and to respond to injustice and sadness by joining with God in the work of creating Shalom.
Results of Primary Project:
A 4th grader summarized that when we pray prayers of pain, God responds:
I will be there to help you.
A 5th grader whose close family member had died in the past year wrote shared this prayer of lament during a prayer service:
God wants us to turn things to God.
God wants us to turn everything to God.
If we are willing to, we will.
A Lenten prayer service:
Two children chose to read and reflect on Psalm 13. They then invited all to write their laments on slips of paper, read these aloud and respond to each by saying together, “I trust in your mercy” (Psalm 13:5).
Laments shared included:
Animals that are sick from pollution, injustice, cruelty, greed, bears being killed, sadness, copper mining, hate, loneliness, global warming, death and killing, war, and people experiencing homelessness and people not helping them.
One of the prayer service leaders then shared:
“So as you know without water this planet couldn’t be as living as it is now…. It would be a lot less alive. We’re going to pour water on these laments to heal them.”
He then poured a pitcher of water into a bowl with the slips of paper.
They concluded by singing Peace is Flowing like a River. The group spontaneously suggested substitutions for the word “peace” in the song, singing for over five minutes. Healing, strength, kindness, life, light, God, nature, friendship, community and truth all flowed in their song.
At a later Lenten prayer service:
The prayer service leaders chose to meet outside, sitting in a circle amongst newly planted young trees. They invited their classmates to pray “popcorn lament – just say your laments any time you want to, but not while anyone else is talking”. For over 15 minutes, children spoke aloud their laments. The prayer of one seemed to spark prayers of others, with many prayers on the same or similar theme being shared one after the other: “for plane crashes,” “for the world dying,” “for climate change,” “for global warming,” “for pollution.”
During the prayer a child commented:
“I just realized that we have like a lot more than I thought of things that are like wrong with our community. I hope that we can fix that.”
Later, during Prayers of the Faithful, this same child prayed,
“I pray that the people know we have to help to make Parousia come and we have to help the global warming and all that stuff; it’s not just going to come, you have to help so everything can get better and we can have a better world.”
Prayer responses after lessons on the structure of lament:
5th Grade Child:
The copper mine will mine Oak Flat.
My brother distracts from my songs.
The president makes bad decisions.
A lot of people are losing their jobs.
Stop the copper mine!
Stop! Stop it all!
God helps people and has never sinned.
Oh God, I trust that you will stop this bad-ness, and start the goodness and the happiness.
6th Grade Child:
Why do bad things happen?
Why does this world have a rotten core?
You make promises but how do we know you’ll keep them?
Please help me to trust that you’ll fix it, that you will teach us to love one another.
You will teach us to water the earth and make her better.
Help us to know you and know your peace is always here.
Amen
A full list of responses is available by request at CCTheo.
Conclusion:
Nine-to-twelve year-old children who are grounded in the love of the Good Shepherd, the community of the True Vine and communal prayer welcomed the invitation to lament together. Some embraced the invitation to lament and journal on their own. Lament became a way to name the places where they recognize disconnections with God and with others. Their laments grew from the truth of their lives: from “chipmunks dying” and “friends being mean” to the death of a family member or the death of friends.
Lament gifted the children with a way to hold simultaneously the heaviness of life, trust in God who will “start the goodness,” and demands for help and healing. The children in CA concluded their prayer of lament with “God save us!” Lament invites the weaving together of pain and sadness with healing, light, peace and truth. Lament also illuminates our role: we “have to help.” Rather than responding to pain or anger with violence, lament reminds us that God alone is God and that God invites us into the work of creating Shalom.
The catechist researcher from CA shared: “I think [the children] need to process their lament before adolescence so they have ways of processing and dealing with the ills of the world which all teens ponder as they look for their place in the larger society. I think that having them ask “Where is God?” without the tools to process their grief and disappointments causes adolescents to doubt their faith and distance themselves from God. [Lament] is a great link.”
Religious educators can prepare to invite children to enter into prayers of lament when needed by exploring lament for themselves and by creating the lament materials.
Copies of all responses are available upon request. If you would like to participate in further research on lament with children, please contact us by using this form.
Questions for Future Research:
In this study, initial attempts to invite 8-year-old children and adolescents into prayers of lament did not elicit much of a response. 9-12 year-old children in Montessori school settings welcomed the invitation to lament, while responses of children in church settings, where they may not know each other as deeply as those who have attended the same school for years, varied. Some 9-12 year-old children in church settings wrote and shared laments while others did not embrace the process but focused on praying for people they knew who they perceived as being harmful.
How can catechists prepare themselves to share prayers of lament with children?
How could prayers of lament be introduced as a gift to younger and to older children?
How can presentations and materials on lament be modified to meet the needs of the children each of us are present with in different settings?
Literature Referenced:
The Bible: Psalms, Lamentations, Jeremiah
Rah, Soong-Chan, Prophetic Lament: A Call for Justice in Troubled Times
Charles, Mark and Soong-Chan Rah, Unsettling Truths: The Ongoing, Dehumanizing Legacy of the Doctrine of Discovery
Vroegon, Mark, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy
Riley, Cole Arthur, Black Liturgies: Prayers, Poems and Meditations for Staying Human
Cooledge Jinkins, Liz, Praying the Imprecatory Psalms is an Act of Nonviolence
Gruver, Diana, Praying Lament Psalms (and How to Write your Own)
Herr, Sr. Donna Marie, Psalms of Lament